Insane rhymes, which don't make any sense
by Nicky007
Summary: These are stupid, but funny rhymes! (At least I hope they are :P) Please review! I'll give you a cherry flavoured lipgloss :P
1. Naughty boys

A/N: This rhyme is so insane, but it rhymes and that's what counts! : ) Please review!  
  
  
  
Remus said: "I've got to pee!"  
  
James replied: "No wonder, you drank way too much tea!"  
  
Remus said: "I can't hold it any longer!",  
  
James retorted: "You've got to become more stronger!"  
  
Remus hurried over to the bushes and unzipped his pants,  
  
James was trying to catch his attention, waving his hands.  
  
He screamed: "Quick Remus, there comes Dumbledore!"  
  
Remus zipped his pants on too quick and fell on the floor.  
  
The two looked astonished when they saw what Dumbledore did,  
  
The headmaster unzipped his pants too to take a sh*t! 


	2. Peace or not?

James and his gang were going to the Great Hall to have lunch,  
  
Sirius was acting crazy and threw a punch!  
  
James said: "OUCH!" and was ready to attack his best mate,  
  
When Remus yelled: "Quick, James, act normal, there comes Lily, your date!"  
  
James immediately behaved normal again and gave Lily a kiss,  
  
Just then McGonagall walked in and asked astonished: "What the fuck is this?"  
  
James replied: "This you old hag, is called looooove! It isn't forbidden to kiss your girlfriend, now is it?"  
  
McGonagall screamed furious: "That was very rude, DETENTION, stupid git!"  
  
James began to mow the lawn of the Hogwarts ground,  
  
Then he heard a loud sound.  
  
It was Sirius yelling his name: "James, James you've got to come inside!  
  
James hurried back to the castle, where Snape was prancing around with pride.  
  
Severus was wearing a skirt and a small shirt,  
  
Sirius was laughing his head off and throwing some dirt.  
  
The dirt hit Snape in his face,  
  
Snape advanced on him, but Sirius ran away and sprinted up to Gryffindor tower,  
  
There he decided to take a shower.  
  
Snape waited outside the painting the whole day,  
  
Sirius came out and said: "Shall we make peace, what do you say?"  
  
He and Snape shook hands and the peace was returned, but for how long?  
  
That night Sirius was singing a new song.  
  
The song insulted Snape, the greasy git was now pissed off and gave Sirius a kick,  
  
It seems like there isn't a normal day in the world of magic!  
Please review! -xxx- Nicky 


	3. Lily and James

Lily was sitting at the Gryffindor-table, they were having dinner.  
  
James said to her: "You must eat more, you're getting more and more thinner!"  
  
His girlfriend glared at him and threw a jamjar,  
  
James yelled: "That's it, I'm leaving with my car!"  
  
He ran out of the Great Hall, ready to leave school,  
  
When Sirius said to him: "You're such a fool!"  
  
James sighed and muttered: "You're right"  
  
Lily dashed in and cried: "Oh, James, you gave me a fright!"  
  
"I'll promise to eat more, let's start with some candy!"  
  
Sirius went to the dormitories said: "I prefer to drink some brandy!"  
  
James told Lily some jokes and she shook with laughter,  
  
And they lived happily ever after! :S  
  
A/N: ¨*Ahum, that didn't make any sense, :P *¨ 


	4. Bed time for Snapey!

Snape was very, uhm, excited and went to his room, Oh joy,  
  
Now he finally had time to reda the playboy!  
  
Naught, naughty Severus began to read and his cheeks flushed red,  
  
Then Dumbledore came in and ordered him to go to bed.  
  
Severus did as he was told,  
  
But he didn't have a blanket, so it was very cold.  
  
He stretched out his hairy arm,  
  
it found his cuddly-toy, which was pretty warm.  
  
Severus smiled and snuggled against his teddy-ape.  
  
Sweet dreams and good night Mr. Snape!  
  
A/N: A big hug to all the reviewers!! Thank you so much, yeah you flamers too! :P -xxx- Nicky 


	5. Ed the mongoose

A/N: I know this isn't about Harry Potter, but I still wanted to place it. For this rhyme I had a partner in crime (hey that rhymed! :P) His name is William, he's a wonderful writer and a very nice guy : )  
  
Once upon a time in England there was a mongoose named Ed  
  
He talked all day about his shed  
  
Ed complained to his wife about the shed's colour  
  
He wished its pink coat was fuller  
  
So he decided to add a few pink roses to the wall  
  
He used super-glue, so they wouldn't fall  
  
After that he went to the kitchen to make a bananacake  
  
It took almost six hours to bake  
  
Once the cake was ready he ate is all by himself  
  
Not sharing with his best friend, Tim the elf  
  
Tim was very upset and cried  
  
Serves him right, he always lied  
  
Ed was very pleased and went to Kent  
  
And lived the rest of his life in a tent.  
  
*******The End******* 


	6. Evil pranks

**A/N: I haven't updated this story for quite a while. But after drinking too much fruitjuice I simply had too :D**

Hagrid shuffled towards Hogwarts, producing lots of farts.

Harry smelled them and ran away,

"Argh, this smell ruins my day!"

Sirius and Remus stopped Harry and ordered him to follow them to the Great Hall,

But Harry didn't want to and said "I have to make a call!"

Sirius shook his head and dragged Harry along,

In the meantime, Remus started to sing a song.

"_Hagrid, Hagrid, that smelly big man,_

_he can fart like no one can!"_

They arrived in the Great Hall where everyone stood up and threw dungbombs at Harry.

Harry ran upstairs and hugged his teddy bear Larry.

"I have to get back at those evil gits! But first I'm going to put on my socks"

Then he decided to watch his favourite movie starring Michael J Focks (Fox).

After that he got back at his classmates, he threw water at them and they were all wet,

Harry was happy and finally went to bed.

**A/N: Alright, very random and silly, but it was fun writing it. Please review :P**


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